Bless those search engines

When I had published this list of bizarre search engine queries, I thought they were the weirdest ones you can come up with and land on my blog. But, as always, life never fails to disappoint. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting, another set of queries that led to this blog, grouped together for common answers:

Interracial fantasy stories; Desi fantasy ladki; Life porno ee: First of all, an ROTFL... okay now let me catch my breath. For the love of all blogdom, what exactly did you expect to find here? Inter-racial fantasy stories? My dear dude/dudette, all those hot blonde chicks you see in the movies don't even give a second glance here towards me, let alone the fact that they are surrounded by tons of Salman Khan replicas. So 'inter-racial' fantasy stories will remain just that --- fantasy! And if you were searching for desi ladki fantasies, you might find yourself suddenly a deeper shade of beet red than those actual beet ads if you happened to know anyone else's fantasies but your own. Hah, from these searches I feel as though I might have a career as a porn star as well... err, "creative" writing star for life, I meant! EEeeeeee :P

Couple nude bangla wife pictures; Dating married woman site in kolkata; Divorced men Indian: Whoooo hahahhaa.... my dear reader, I had just threatened to become a pimp in that post I've linked to: I haven't actually become one! See, on one hand someone was searching for divorced Indian men, and on the other hand someone else was looking to date married women in Kolkata! So don't you see the "nude bangla wife" connection ?? (Err, "divine" connection, that is). See, all you need to do is to find each other; and not necessarily through this blog. You know, in this age of Web 2.0, you can do that on any of those million fraanship sites mushrooming everywhere of which I receive 20 invites daily: any one of those will suffice. Do I really need to know the details?

Discovering that a trusted friend backstabs you: Yeah, buddy... Brutus borrowed the dagger from me personally when he went to stab Caesar. That spear is available on demand when you want to stab your best friend: but remember, only backstabs are allowed. If you try stabbing from the front, that dagger becomes a duck and goes "quack-quack"! Oh, by the way, if you've been the fool that got yourself stabbed, then your orbituary is already here. No need to discover anything any longer... your epitaph will bear testimonial to the fact that you did discover this blog before the final decision to end your life in protest against such atrocious writing.

The gropers handbook of tricks: Oh yes, thats right! I almost forgot: I have perfected the subtle art of groping and have published the handbook of tricks. Very briefly, you need to sneak up on the victim, preferably in full public view where everyone is maintaining a good deal of personal space. And then once you are in front of her, jump in and go about your task like there is no tomorrow. Which, if you think about it, is true --- I doubt if there will ever be a tomorrow for you if you do that! ;)

Desi guys; Desi romeo; My kind of guy poem; What is my kind of guy: See, you can always trust Mr. Google! You were searching for the perfect guy, the perfect desi romeo. And you wondered aloud, what would your kind of guy be like? Google devta answered your query, brought you to my blog (like Lord Shiv from Sholay with Veeru providing playback). Lady, look at the divine omens: open your eyes and look how the stars are conspiring and pointing to you, time and again, that you don't need to look any further. Thou knight in shining armour is here, o damsel; come with me and I shall take you onto the flight of a lifetime... *sigh*. There is no need to fear, underwear is here!!

Okay, now for the one-line answers to the 'lesser' queries:

Midnight driver guide: Yeah of course, given my driving skills, who else could be a better guide?

Disco thake in surat: Abe, kamse kam discotheque ko disco thake to mat bana!!

Black bharatnatyam pics: Tai, kath... theyyy, katt!

Brahmi girl pictures: Sorry, she's booked for tonight. :P

Nude roomie: Heheheh, my roomies were NOT pleased to know of this query! :D

Non veg sms: Okay, how about this: I've lost it! :P

Miti drink nude: Huh??

Swimming underwater fully clothed: Splash-splash, chhalaak-chapaat!!

Parna+Sushmit: May the two of you live long, my dears... my best wishes are always with you. Tell me this, though --- did you two happen to meet using any of the queries above? :D