They didn't run

We were returning from a movie last night. We were generally ambling across the parking lot with the light rail station in sight, and discussing the movie, cutting jokes, etc when we spotted our train from a distance. It was pretty late and the frequency of trains was very little at this hour, so I started to run for it. "Oh leave it... we can't make it", one of them said. I replied, "Lets give it a shot at least", and dashed for the train. I vaguely heard some mumbling from them, something like "too far" or "no time" or something. But I paid no heed --- I was already sprinting and assumed that they will follow.

I was surprised on the way, however. Two of the three others go to the gym regularly, and I started going with them only recently. Also, I'm not a great sprinter, and add to that the broken foot I've got --- I definitely am not the fastest person around. And yet, I was leading them in the chase. "Well, maybe I had a headstart" I thought. I reached the train doors huffing and puffing: people were still coming off the coaches, and others were waiting to board. "Made it in time, yaay!", I thought. And then I stopped and looked back. My roomies had half-ran the distance, and then given up midway --- they were standing a long way away from the platform, sort of watching the show.

I cannot really describe what I felt right then. I'll spare you the choice of words I had for them as I stood there on the platform and let the train leave. But this was really surprising for me. I know that they could have made it, only if they had tried... only if. I don't know what use the gym and all is to them if they couldn't use their stamina outside the gym. Why on earth would someone want to give up without a fight? Thats just not me --- if there is a chance, I'll take it and see it to the end. I would have been happy if we had run and still missed the train. But these folks gave up even without a run, for they had presaged their defeat! I hate it, I just hate it.

Well, whatever it is. I usually don't post such personal stuff here on the blog. But I don't have anywhere else to rant, so you, the readers will have to bear with this one. Maybe I'm just a square peg trying to fit into a round hole, or maybe I need to relax a little in life. But I don't know: maybe it is just not a part of my character to give up without an effort. Sorry about the rant --- will post something happier soon.