Guest post: The Fruits of Marriage

So for those of you who have been asking for a guest post for a long time on this blog, here is something you must savor as you read through. I recently helped my friend set up her fresh new blog (yeah yeah... the whole damsel in distress and the knight in shining armor thingie). In lieu, she has generously allowed me to quote a small part of her blog post as a guest post here.
Her first ever blog post is called, "The Fruits of Marriage". Here is an excerpt:

Few simple reasons why I reconsidered marriage and signed up for it (okay, other than the trust, companionship, emotional security, commitment, eternal love, finding the right one and happily ever after bit) -

To get the occasional foot rub – You don't get professional proficiency but hey, you don't pay for it either! It all comes with the package! Plus, where else would you get it exactly when you want it the most, may it be by the end of a long, cold and tiring day.

To get customized massage – If you tell me about the spa and massage parlors as alternatives, well, would they be open late in the night and provide the service on your very own bed so that the massage can end in the ultimate relaxation and a rejuvenated state of mind where you sleep in peace, the best sleep you ever had? Very amateur indeed, might not come with fragranced candles, aromatic oils or soothing music that would transcend you to the unfathomable world of pleasure and ecstasy, but it may range from erotic and sensual to a pair of robotic hard stiff hands trying to make sense of 'the art of massage' on your body. This might be so unrelaxing that you may loose the desire to get your next massage for another month or so! So, what is your gain in here? Well, your mind gets so diverted in the process that you forget about the back pain that you ever had!

For some warmth – If nothing else, now you can tuck your freezing toe against his in the night. Disclaimer: you are in trouble if he expects the favor back from you!

For a lot of convenience – Marriage brings you a part-time volunteer chauffeur, an emergency car mechanic and a lifelong technical support if you married an IT engineer. And guess what? He does it all with a lot of 'love' and 'passion', even if not for you but for the 'technology', and anything even vaguely related to technology and engineering!

To stop playing the hard-to-get – Marriage always makes u more attractive to other men! There is no longer any moral obligation to conform to men's hard-to-get fantasy for a woman. Now you are genuinely 'hard to get' for all the men sans your husband.

For the real peace of mind - Now you can politely refuse having coffee with that super cheesy colleague of yours just by uttering those golden words “I am married, you know!!”, followed by a compelling smile. You do not any more have those curious aunts poking nose in your love life. Even if u refuse to share details of your romantic life, your aunts no more worry that you might become a nun! Those family friends do not spread rumors about your sexual orientation any longer just because you refused to marry their 'all-perfect eligible bachelor' son! Now you have your husband as a silent proof of your real sexual preference. Suddenly all those 'friends' disappear who kept trying to make you jealous (and in turn bored you to death) with the telesoap-ey romantic stories of their boy friends, fiancés and husbands. Now they know that you too have a husband and you know what exactly does the package come with!

To finally have that witty guy who also laughs at your PJs – Oh yes, dear God, girls have the legal right to be humorous and hilarious as well!

To avail the couple discounts – You no longer need to 'look for' a boy friend or a girl friend to avail couple discounts at the gym, library, dance class, airlines, hotel, costco and so on (and these days there is a couple discount for everything under the sun you may think of).

So go ahead and enjoy the rest of her blog post (and yes, I assure you, there is a LOT more!). This one should be one hell of a blog to follow! :)

P.S. - For those of you with the grin on your face asking me, "So what does your wife think of this post?"... well, let's just say, and I quote, "I couldn't agree more". So much for charity in the name of technology! :)