Yet another spiel about the Temple of Doom

I am adding to the numerous existing criticisms of Steven Spielberg's film, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. And nothing can better portray my emotions about this movie than Shashi Tharoor's review, titled India, Jones, and the template of dhoom. My indignations are just plain rants, but I have some course of action in mind which we could count as revenge. This, in brief, is what the film is about:

... hundreds of millions of people, mostly young and impressionable people who almost certainly had never set foot in the subcontinent, met an Indian family, or read an exposition of Hinduism acquired an abiding image of India. It was of a country where kings and courtiers feasted on stewed snakes and monkey brains, where Kali worshippers plucked the hearts out of their victims and embroiled them in flaming pits, and where evil, poverty and destitution reigned until the Great White Hero could intervene to restore justice and prosperity.

 If you have watched the movie, I am pretty sure that you know what I mean. If not, consider yourself warned - maybe you would want to sit with a poster cut-out of Spielberg which you could burn afterwards.

Since there is freedom of speech, etc. - here is how we should reply. This time, I would borrow from Greatbong, from his revew of the movie "Slumdog Millionaire":

Let’s say I made a movie about the US where an African-American boy born in the hood, has his mother sell him to a pedophile pop icon, after which he gets molested by a priest from his church, following which he gets tied up to the back of a truck and dragged on the road by KKK clansmen. Then he is arrested and sodomized by a policeman with a rod, after which he is attacked by a gang of illegal immigrants, and then uses these life experiences to win “Beauty and The Geek”.

I say why let's just say - let's do it! Let us make a movie about America where a wandering monk from India comes to a convention and conquers a country with his philosophy and conviction. He dares to call everybody "sharers of immortal bliss, holy and perfect beings" while they are rather accustomed to being called "sinners" - and thereby shows them a new world? Oh wait, damn, that has already happened, in real life!

So here is a new movie plot line. There are secret gatherings of cannibal feasts inside Churches whose sole purpose is to get more unsuspecting people into their fold through rather aggressive "recruitment campaigners" (also known as Protestant Priests). There are CIA doctors testing at the limits of human endurance by getting Gitmo detainees eaten alive by rats and scoring as per race, etc. All this, until a Mighty Brown Man (possibly a clone of Sunny Deol) comes and saves the world by anesthetizing the bad guys with Deepak Chopra's sermon recordings. Hah, now wouldn't that be great!