[Introspective post alert again! Not for the faint of heart!]
If you go up to a school kid and tell him that his school is the worst in town, what do you expect to hear? Yes, I am referring to an average kid and not a disgruntled 3-time failure of a bully in the class. Well, to say the least, you get to hear a lot of expletives, a lot of indignation, and a stubborn resolution that no, you are wrong... his school is the best! Or at least, if not the best, it is a good school; certainly not the worst. The question is, why?
You know, this perception, this subtle ego remains alive no matter what you do. I saw my friend's mother proudly pointing out to almost everybody who came to her home that her husband could lift a 50-kilo iron weight just by the little finger while he stood dead-straight. It appeared funny to me, but she was so proud of the fact that I never quite mustered courage to laugh. And as I think now, I should never have. Let me give some more examples before I explain. You will notice this phenomenon happening if you try to malign someone's boyfriend. All hell will break loose if you try to go and tell students of one university that it is not worth the rival university. Guess what, the reaction is so predictable even when you malign a nation, a religion, a community!
The predictability of the reaction is actually there because you tend to hurt the ego of the listener by doing or saying something. But, think again... the ego? Yes, because these things tend to define our identity, our greater self. That is why the kid's school is the best, and his parents too so desperately want to believe in that. We so don't want to believe that you made a wrong choice in life, or that life handed you a hard bargain. That is why your girlfriend or your husband or your university has to be the best! We tend to remain happy within our own world, find our rays of hope and sunshine in these miniscule bubbles of light amidst the encircling gloom. We sheild ourselves from the bad news, because we are never prepared to hear it. Perhaps it is a new meaning of "Ignorance is bliss".
Perhaps, that is why we love competitions, and cheer for others. Perhaps, perhaps that is why parents rush to show off their children's drawings when guests come home. Perhaps that explains why family stress, family pressures happen... why we hear of 16-year old kids committing suicide because they did not do 'well' in the exams. It is all a mental image we so dearly clutch on to, and are so ready to fight for when facts come haunting along. No matter what, my daddy remains the strongest!
If you go up to a school kid and tell him that his school is the worst in town, what do you expect to hear? Yes, I am referring to an average kid and not a disgruntled 3-time failure of a bully in the class. Well, to say the least, you get to hear a lot of expletives, a lot of indignation, and a stubborn resolution that no, you are wrong... his school is the best! Or at least, if not the best, it is a good school; certainly not the worst. The question is, why?
You know, this perception, this subtle ego remains alive no matter what you do. I saw my friend's mother proudly pointing out to almost everybody who came to her home that her husband could lift a 50-kilo iron weight just by the little finger while he stood dead-straight. It appeared funny to me, but she was so proud of the fact that I never quite mustered courage to laugh. And as I think now, I should never have. Let me give some more examples before I explain. You will notice this phenomenon happening if you try to malign someone's boyfriend. All hell will break loose if you try to go and tell students of one university that it is not worth the rival university. Guess what, the reaction is so predictable even when you malign a nation, a religion, a community!
The predictability of the reaction is actually there because you tend to hurt the ego of the listener by doing or saying something. But, think again... the ego? Yes, because these things tend to define our identity, our greater self. That is why the kid's school is the best, and his parents too so desperately want to believe in that. We so don't want to believe that you made a wrong choice in life, or that life handed you a hard bargain. That is why your girlfriend or your husband or your university has to be the best! We tend to remain happy within our own world, find our rays of hope and sunshine in these miniscule bubbles of light amidst the encircling gloom. We sheild ourselves from the bad news, because we are never prepared to hear it. Perhaps it is a new meaning of "Ignorance is bliss".
Perhaps, that is why we love competitions, and cheer for others. Perhaps, perhaps that is why parents rush to show off their children's drawings when guests come home. Perhaps that explains why family stress, family pressures happen... why we hear of 16-year old kids committing suicide because they did not do 'well' in the exams. It is all a mental image we so dearly clutch on to, and are so ready to fight for when facts come haunting along. No matter what, my daddy remains the strongest!
Good post! I have seen this phenomenon in action too, many times!
ReplyDeleteBut in the college level, there is also a category that cribs about their college or university, and they go on and on and on. I wonder where the ego hides during that time...?
Shruthi, thanks! :)
ReplyDeleteYes, basically I believe that these types feed their own ego by dissociating themselves as much as possible from what they consider to be bad. You know the sudden superiority you seem to get sometimes when you assume a holier-than-thou thingy! The more they call the college names, the more they feel that they are feeding their ego.
Of course it is incorrect to generalise... but then it is how I perceive most of it
Absolutely true.
ReplyDeleteAll the bloated ego is a by product of not accepting the truth. And accepting the truth, I believe, is the first step towards self improvement.
Wonderful post my literary friend :).
Whisky, Sorry about the delayed reply... Mr. Blogspot was blocked!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the compliments, my dear friend! You have put it very wisely, sire, that accepting the truth is the real bravery, not defending the false!
very close to my heart, i still get pissed off when my frend boasts tht my school is not as good as his, despite being called grown up, we still have those little egos, we want to live in our own beautiful world where evrything we have is the best n as afr as it doesnt hurt some els, its good.
ReplyDelete@shruthi:we use to do tht in our college too, lemme say the ego is still there, only tht it goes the other way - the more worse ur college is, the more u enjoy. so we fight 'My college worst' :D
Supremus, hmm... the attachment factor is also there, perhaps! Thanks, :)
ReplyDeleteMaverick, right, right... so very true! And thanks for dropping by!
yeah... my daddy strongest, and my boy friendz the best. Better think twice the next time you try to malign him to pull my leg....
ReplyDeleteWell actually...
ReplyDeleteI did well in school! So my school was the BESTESHT!I din do great in college. My college was bad. Its simple. What you feel/felt is what you make/made out of it.
And ooo couldn't agree more with the I cant believe I made the wrong decision part....
Nice post!
Nothing wrong in having self esteem but when it goes out of hand and starts approaching ego, that's when things go wrong. Management history is replete with cases of Success leads to ego and ego leads to failure.
ReplyDeleteIt has happen to me a lot...
ReplyDeleteas u said, we are never ready to believe that we made a wrong choice.
Thats why, SVNIT is the Best!
and IBM rocks!
nice post :)
ReplyDeletefinding the truth is first step i believe...
to quote a verisimilar siddhuism
"there is no better tranquilizer than a clear conscience"
You can use one more to this category-- MY RELIGION. This one is the most dangerous one and we can do without.
ReplyDeleteAm catching up after some time and I am amazed at the way your blog is shaping up. You are writing really well making it a pleasure to read. Keep posting, Sudipta. And must tell you, your mum is a gifted writer. Would be refreshing to read a blog by her :)
ReplyDeleteSunshine, Oh yeah... your boyfriend is ^%&*(#&*(#*( Huh?? What say now?
ReplyDeletePoornaa,Right... it is related to what we think/make of it. So what wrong decisions have you made?? :)
Hiren, Hey! That sounds like a true manager in the making! Welcome onboard, sire... and yes, well said!
Tweaky, Yeah, right... those are the only things we forgot to mention in the list of things that rock! :)
Anubhav, hmm.... that was a good quotable quote. Thanks!
Alka, Yes, exactly! Good to see that you saw the undertone of what was mentioned just in passing. Thank you very much!
Anumita, Thanks a lot!! You made my day. And yes, I have brought my mom here to the cyber cafe to show her that people want to read her blog if it is created anytime... All I can do now is pray! :)
"there is nothing good or bad in this world..only thinking makes it so".....do u believe it??..its like closing ur eyes....and not accepting the truth....
ReplyDeleteYour Mom! A writer! Please announce this to us, when she starts blogging. It would be nice to read mature thoughts and how our elders thinks about this generation. :-)See, I am already assuming what she will write. :-)
ReplyDeleteTime for a new post. Wake up!
Bristi, Kind-of! But yes... that applies to what I had to say here very well.
ReplyDeleteAlka, yes ma'am.. made my mom read your comment as well... lets see if ever she decides to write.
And about the order for the new post: Okay, lady... you got it!