All the good things

Introspective post alert: don't blame me after you've finished reading this.

When I was in the final days of my first year at college, a final year senior gave to me what was his slam book. I had never seen one before, and duly filled in every section until I came to the section that said, "Write what you think about me". This was kind-of bizzare... and I turned to the other pages of the slam book to see what others had written. As I expected, there were messages like 'I will always remember you as the cheerful person', 'You will shine wherever you go', and stuff like that. I would have rather chosen to remain neutral, but I settled for good wishes for your future, etc.

Things did not change much after I went into more senior years, because I knew more and more people then. People who I had hardly interacted with came with or passed their slambooks to me (and everyone else), and you had to fill in all the details all over again. And the worst part invariably was when I had to write something about them. For the people I knew, it wasn't much of a problem. I knew what to write and fill in. For others, it was a problem... because I would have rather chosen to remain neutral than to write "All the good things".

In my final year, therefore, I decided not to go for a slam book. Some people had actually asked me about mine... and I had just replied that I don't need one. Just a quizzical look on their faces, and that was the end of it. I however, duly filled in everyone's slam book as and when they were passed to me. Not just those I hardly knew, but also for those people I knew. Unfortunately, it is difficult even now: I find it difficult to express even now why I did not like to write in their slam books --- people with whom I hung out, studied, lived together, etc. Giving out contact numbers, email ids, etc were ok, but not trying to tell them how good they were or anything... the further problem being that if I wrote in one of their books, the others would take notice and ask me to fill in theirs as well.

This still persists with me on Orkut. When adding a new friend, I always choose the level 3 or the default level in the yellow zone. I don't change it, not for anybody. Similarly, I am not there on anyone's fan list, and do not grade people to be sexy or trustworthy or cool. I know what my friends are, and they are worth more than what I can express on a slam book or by rating them on Orkut --- and the people close to me understand this (thankfully).

Yes, I know that this is bizzare and that I must be sounding obsessed or something... but that is how I perceive things. I feel it undermines the friendship to rate someone, or to write about him/her in their own slambooks. Sorry junta, I just don't like doing it.

P.S.- On a different note, look at the google ads surrounding the post below this one: Catch a cheating husband, detective agencies for cheating spouses, how to survive infidelity, duh!