Little Boy and Fat Man

"Bus kuchh kilo ka sawaal hai.. abhi to mai jawaan hoon"

Those lyrics, probably, were written after the guy saw me somewhere. Just a few kilos.. thats all!! They make a difference between me reaching the end of a little dash full and active and me reaching the end of a little dash all huffing and puffing and wishing that the world would stop for a few seconds and let me catch my breath.

I actually do not feel myself to be so, shall we say, "endowed", in my mind. It just comes back to me when I try to get in those trousers, when I tuck my belly in and hold my breath, or when I look at myself in the mirror. A friend just told me, "You look like someone familiar every time I meet you... you kind-of blow up every time". And it was a lady :(( Well, yes, things were ok till the time I was being told this by friends. I used to be cursed constantly when my roomies were forced to share a seat with me on the office bus... one guy almost always held on to whatever was left of the aisle seat for dear life. I also used to be blessed for finishing up all leftovers at team pizza lunches or even at dinner times with roomies. Well, yes, things were good till then.

But then I reached Scotland. And lapped up all the chicken, turkey, lamb, butter and cheese it had to offer. And the chocolates were awesome! Oh, did I mention the ice creams and free hot chocolate drinks? So I have now become this meatball on the move... and things were good even then. But then this time, as I reached home, even they said that I was getting more fat than desired. :(( So things are not so favourable anymore.

People ask me, why and how do you eat so much? The answer, as I have told so many times, is actually in the mind. There is a huge... HUGE gap between when I am satisfied (had enough) and I am full (can't take any more). So after I've had my meal, which is quite something, there are invariably some leftovers from others or the common bowl. And then all eyes turn to me, some smiling faces, some stifled grins... and I reach out for the curry bowl with a smiling face. It is always good to be eating.

Did I try reducing the flab? Sure as hell I did. But then... there are a thousand excuses not to be going to the gym tomorrow. And getting up in the morning and running? I don't remember the last time I saw the sun rise. Come on, it is different to be on the football field chasing the ball.. you don't notice that you are running. But running just for the sake of it is different, and difficult. But I know that all I need is a rigourous routine in my life... I am headed to the University of Texas at Austin for my MS in CS (which I plan to get converted to a PhD), and I know that I will get back to shape in a few months... so fiqar not :)

So while this little boy has grown to be a fat man from outside, the inside did not change. Abhi to mai jawaan hoon... aur hum mote hain to kya hua dilwale hain!! Before I conclude, let me tell you what my grandmother thought as she tried to wake me from sleep and I just groaned to go out and run one morning: "Oh.. poor boy.. has come back from work after such a long time... let him sleep". So you see.. a lot of time and space separate me and those calories. And I am feeling hungry, and sleepy... and more hungry. God bless food!