Mr. Q loves Dubai

Mr. Q is my room-mate. Initially, he was gleefully happy when I asked him if I could post something about him and his exploits. But then, he wondered aloud what would happen if his wife stumbles across my blog some day, and maybe this post in particular. I'd spare you the details, but suffice it to say that after some amount of coaxing (read promises of celebrity status), he has agreed to let me use Mr. Q instead of his full name.

Every night, we get our net connection at 10:00 p.m. (because of our Iqara Night Angel plan). After that, after I check mails, blogs, university application status and forums, etc. for about half an hour, and then Mr. Q takes the hotseat. The other day, I was standing beside him while he was online, chatting. He picked an id that looked like one of a gal from a chat room, and then sent a PM. The conversation went like this:

- Hi, 23/m/mumbai here... wanna chat?
- (reply) Hi... I am from mumbai, but right now I am in Dubai
- (Mr Q) I love Dubai !

Now, this was too much for me. Let alone Mr. Q, I can vouch that probably none in his near family have ever been to Dubai. So how come he loves Dubai? He replied, "You know nothing about girls". After that, I was privileged to a few of his tips about how to get girls to reply, how to follow up relations with them... how to talk mushy gushy, and all that. And it all came down to very simple things.

Lesson One: Whichever place that girl belongs to, you have to profess your undying love for that place. He said that if the girl had said Dhaka instead of Dubai, then he loves Dhaka, if Lahore then Lahore... you name it, and he loves it. If the girl lives at Delhi but misses Kolkata dearly, then Mr. Q has lived in Kolkata for 8 full years. Add to that the fact that he knows a few Bengali sentences, and he can make himself a real cuddly-baby kind-a person at the expense of the Bengali language being murdered by his phrases and sentences. Aah, you should see him talking to me in loud broken and erratic Bengali at some office party just because he knows that the girl who has come and stood next to me while she looks the other way is a Bengali (or so he knows)!

Lesson Two: Her name is really sweet and cute, always. I am not sure when (or how), but I think I remember him telling somebody at the other end of the phone that her name is a melodious name (!!??), one that conveys a very pleasant personality (huh... that was the first time they even talked!!). Never mind. "Whenever you call", he says, "make sure you keep reminding her that her voice is sweet and luscous... even melodious!!". Girls apparently are very pleased to hear that. And add to that the low-pitched whisper he employs while he does that mawkim talking, the dimmed lights in the room with the night-lamp and the lights from the window creating a demured atmosphere; he lies inclined on the bed on his back with a pillow clutched under the arm, murmuring into the phone --- you get the picture. And they talk for hours together.

Lesson Three: If she sends you her picture, don't forget to go wow even if you mistook it for the latest horror movie poster. Mr. Q advises that the dress she wears in the pic has to be a perfect fit (you must say that, that is). Also, if in in the picture there is a garden or someplace, you must say that she looks like the jewel in the crown. If she happens to send a pic that has her friend beside her, make sure you ask after her, but do not compare them. You never know, you can even get the other girl's number as well! I can put in a word here that going by his record as I have seen him over the last 18 months, he usually gets one gal, and then two-three of her friends fall in line pretty soon. *sigh*

After listening to all this, I had just one comment: "What the crrrap!!". I am sure some people who think like me will agree. But I know that some others who find themselves more like Mr. Q will find the above just the tip of the iceberg. And for those who are still undecided, meet either of us and we'll explain.

To end this, let me tell you the next line of the conversation that had started above:

- Hi, 23/m/mumbai here... wanna chat?
- (reply) Hi... I am from mumbai, but right now I am in Dubai
- (Mr Q) I love Dubai !
[continued]
- (the girl says) Oh.. I also quite like this place

I am sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation :)