The Hunt for Red Riding Hood

I am not the wolf, I promise! I definitely prefer being called the hunter in the story. Actually, the hunt for my own Ms Red Riding Hood has been quite entertaining. After so many serious posts about the upcoming marriage, I thought we all could do with some entertainment. By the way, I know that some of you previous "prospects" still read this blog. Honey, if you are going to be offended that I shared this about you, you can at least laugh at the other ones! Yes of course you know my email address (possibly my phone number as well)... but no, please don't feel free to tell me anything about this post except in the comments section here. :P

Our journey in search of Red Riding Hood begins with a wedding in the caves of France about five thousand years ago. You can see the wedding album on some of the walls even today. Now since one marriage is supposed to last you till seven rebirths, I think this might be the last of the seven for both of us. After this, we meet in heaven. Well, at least she gets in by default: I get in on the dependent visa. :) But we are digressing. Lets get back to the first person I was meeting on the "arranged" agenda. We were supposed to meet during my sister's wedding. Her family was slipped in as one of the guests, and the idea was that the two of us were to meet and greet each other under the cover of the wedding itself. Of course, every one who was "in" on the scoop watched both of us with twinkling eyes, hoping to catch some sparks here and there. Little smirks whenever they would pass me, inquiries from time to time. So, you ask, how did it go? Well, I cried at the end of the wedding. And no I am not going to clarify that.

The fun of course started when I came back to the university after the wedding. I told this story to quite a few people, including most of the details. Naturally, nobody believed me. To make sure that things remained anonymous, I fuzzed just the detail of where she lived: alternating between Chennai and Darjeeling. Given my reputation, this story remained completely unbelievable and imaginary. :D

Soon afterwards, the unbelievable started happening! Let alone one, more than two or three girls were interested in me at the same time! For the first time in my life, I felt like a complete hunk in demand ;) And then of course I perfected the technique of dumping girlfriends. I also learned a few priceless lessons as to what not to say to girls. For example, when discussing the topic of arranged marriage with one girl, when the question came up about if not her then someone else, I happened to mention, "Yeah I will need two weeks to forget about you and then look for someone else". Yeah yeah... the next two weeks weren't so comical :D Moral of the story that I learned: tell 'em you will need at least 6 months to get over her.

And seriously, what is it with girls and talking? All kinds of praises about her best friend, the scoop about her neighborhood aunty, the family tree of her extended family, ufff! In the midst of all this, I happened to mention that I play shadow cricket while on the phone with her. As soon as she learned about this, I had to answer a surprise quiz about the names of her immediate relatives. No, honey, I do pay attention - just that I can play cricket and talk at the same time. So much for being dead honest. :| Speaking of which, for you "will not do this" will mean "will absolutely not never ever do it". For her, any rule is subject to a veto otherwise known as the giggle. "Hehehe" and the rule doesn't apply to her any more. Suddenly the song "Ladki kyon" from Hum Tum began to make sense. A little confession, though... zis we like! :P

And guys, I know most girls tend to meet the weirdos of our kind and thereafter write loooong posts about them on their blogs. So in our defence, I can tell about my share of weirdos too. One of them professed at the end of our first phone call, "You know, I find it most natural to talk in English.. Bangla simply doesn't cut it". One other lady kept inquiring all along if I had much knowledge of animal husbandry (Dont' ask me why). :D And my favourite one - this lady who fell in lauuu with me within five phone calls. Yeah: same one who I happened to tell that it'll take me 2 weeks to forget about her. :D

Oh Ms Red Riding Hood... the amount of hoops I have had to jump through to get to you....