It happened to me

The latest message in my mobile's voice mailbox:

[Thick American accented girl:] "Hi honey.... why didn't you call me after last night? I am so horny now and want to f*** you ... yeah - yeah - yeah..." followed by a much graphic description of everything proposed for about 30 seconds, which ends with the word "bitch"

Let me explain.

Twice a week, I have classes from 9:30 in the morning till 5:00 p.m., and then I go to a research meeting which lasts till about 6:30. During this time, my cell phone remains on silent mode and it is only after 6 or later I get to check any messages. So yesterday, after drinking a gallon of coffee to survive through the day, I had a voice message and a missed call from a no-number. Well, no-number meant that someone had called from a PC using Skype or Yahoo or something like that. And that person had left this voice message.

The first time I heard it, I was stunned. From the second time, however, I have been laughing my guts out whenever I hear it. My favourite pastime right now is to play it to my friends and smirk and grin, until finally I am able to join the ROTFL routine in the end. News of this is on my gmail status message as well, and so a lot of requests keep coming in to play it for people while we're conversing --- I even missed a couple of calls from friends last night just because I was playing this one for others.

Now, who/what/why did this call come? I haven't got the slightest idea in blazes. But here are 3 theories which might explain them, in decreasing order of probability:
  1. Some guy got some action a couple of nights ago, and then left my number with the girl, who in turn doesn't own a cell phone/ doesn't want to call from her cell phone, yet.
  2. Some girl made a prank call from her PC leaving such messages at random: practising, perhaps? :D
  3. [My personal favourite]: Someone finally realised that I am indeed the hottest blogger, the coolest wannabe nerd, etc. just like the halloween evening and therefore is really (and I mean REALLY) interested!

These are things, you know, that you are aware of the existence of, but you think can never happen to you: such as car accidents or lung cancer. You prepare for life, knowing that this might happen and you'll have to accept it, but the shock refuses to go away even when it happens ---- "This can't happen to me!!", you think. Guess what? this one was one of those things!

Very recently, I went through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance; and went through them violently and intensely. But God decided to add this 6th stage: laughter!! And yes I am laughing --- ROTFLMAO --- this voice message ain't gonna get deleted anytime soon! :D


P.S. - requests for uploading clips can't be honoured: it is on my cell service provider's server.

Comments

  1. What is this funda of "3" - Analysis of a crank call in 3 stages ....no wonder you get weird dreams....!

    Please add 7th stage...how to drop blog readers from heights of literature to this....@#?/?

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  2. some things probably happen just to make u laugh wen ur down,dont they! :D

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  3. lol! this is hilarious - lucky you ;)

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  4. Well, I think option 3 holds perfect :P

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  5. Mmh, me thinketh, u are going to get lucky very soon :D. Just make sure your house is empty and your housemates aren't there to bother you :D

    Hehe!

    S

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  6. More naughtiness eh, Sudipta? :-p

    The US is having an effect on you, that's for sure... :-D

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  7. whoa! good for you man, here's wishing one of these days that lady decides to drop in at your home and decide to tell you 'that' in person ;) 'that' would be a treat, haina? lol

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  8. ahem ahem ...
    life is really happening for you bhai ...
    and now, there are so many reasons to envy you, bhai :)
    keep rocking!!!

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  9. R, aare na na... not in 3 stages: those theories are mutually exclusive :)

    And well about adding the 7th stage of sudden flip-flops: thats what this blog is about, right? The man, the machine and everything inbetween! :)

    Di, yeah, I suppose so! :D

    Ricercar, yeah, lucky me! :)

    Manasa, I'm flattered, honoured and grinning from ear to ear --- thanks!!

    Supremus, God bless you! :D

    Hari, yeah, part of life! The interesting thing being: all these happend to just me!! :D

    Life lover, well, thanks for the wishes, but I am not sure if that will be a good thing ;) Treat... yeah of course!

    Varun, thank you, bhai!

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  10. I hate to do this to you but I see you left the 4th possibility out...that would be...a simple case of 'wrong number' my friend... India main aate the yaad hai? Of course nothing like that message luckily..imagine that message in an Indian accent (or see a Russel Peter show if you lack imagination) :)

    Skyster

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  12. OR else one of your 'friends' decided to play a prank. A little grown up, than merely writing love letters from a fraud ID to your own friend and watch him/her go around telling everyone he/she has a secret admirer. ;)
    Have you checked if all your friends are reacting normal?

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  13. Sky, aare the first (and most probable) case is that of a wrong number yaar --- my definition is a superclass! And thanks for reminding me of Russel Peters. He's my man!

    Manasi, welcome onboard! Yes all of them are quite normal... and that was definitely the first thing that came to my mind. But I don't know any of my friends who might be as resourceful to pull off this one. If anyonce can do it, it is probably me :D

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  14. But I don't know any of my friends who might be as resourceful to pull off this one. If anyonce can do it, it is probably me :D

    That's interesting and opens up all sorts of possibilities. :p

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  15. really..lucky u.....

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  16. i suggest you go up to your University radio jockey and make him PLAY it for one hour... i guarantee you the girl ( if it is one!!) will come look for you..

    just dont get beat up.

    oh and if its a guy. Run.

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  17. Why such things dont happen to me!

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  18. Hari, I know what you mean, but for me thats a lame one to do for myself and show off. The original natural stuff is jewel enough!

    Bristi, jealous? :D

    Grafxgurl, great idea! But I am not so interested, thanks :)

    Arshat, welcome onboard! Offcially proclaim me to be your guru and these will start, I promise :D

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  19. Good to see you in my blog bhai..kerom aachish ?
    Hope you enjoying ur stay in US after the Scottish charm...

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  20. #3 is highly unlikely. #1 and #2 are more probable... latter being some sort of 'spam', unless you've been busy online doing things other than blogging!!! :)
    Anyway, one should always make most of the moment.. and clearly, blogging is not! Best of luck in your future ''endeavours :P

    - Kunal

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  21. Wanderlust, great to see you here, sir! I am enjoying my stay 100% :)

    Kunal, that is the reason they were ordered as such :) And who says blogging isn't a good way of making the most of the moment? When there isn't anything tangible, words are the best expression!

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  22. Ha!ha! Did you consider another possibility where the girl dialed in a wrong number?? In that case, she might be pouring her feelings out and it reached the wrong person :) Anyways, you seem to be doing really good at Austin, what with the Halloween and this and all. Good luck! ;)

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  23. Alpine path, that possibility is actually covered in the first one itself. And it is the most probable, definitely! :)

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