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Showing posts from May, 2005

The monk who was to go to heaven

A hermit was dead. What had killed the sadhu was not clear, and nobody was anyone interested in it. For all the villages around his cave, he was THE MAN. He did not do any miracles, he was just a good person at heart, listened to theier woes, gave them good advice and lived and talked about God. His death was just his discarding of this body and leaving for heaven. Now the hermit had done all the good things you could possibly imagine, as I told you before. He thought he had a sureshot berth in heaven. He was already licking his lips in anticipation. However, when he reached God, there was a long queue. Being a monk, he patiently waited until his turn came up. God: So, my man, there you are... let me look at your files. [The hermit was already smiling, he knew that he had done evrything perfect] God: Ahh... discourses, teachings and preachings, all 108 holy places visited on foot! Great!! Hermit: Thank you, O Lord! I feel blessed. God: Good, and I also find a lot of prayers for you by ...

Top 10 ways to get your didi angry

I have been trying to get one of my didis (elder sisters) angry for quite sometime, and she had sworn that she will never get angry with me. So after this long process of big shots and really impish digs at her, these are the top 10 ways I have been able to come up with. Feel free to add to the list... 10. End all top 10 lists with just 9 items. [hahaha... you just took a peek down, didn't you?! :D] 9. Ask her if she will like a non-veg SMS or mail forward. 8. The ultimate compliment... when she asks if her company is boring, tell her 'Yes'. 7. Tell her that men are always better than women in all respects 6. Do not reply to mails for quite some time or irritate her with blank mails. 5. Look at her and smile at times, until she begins to wonder whats cooking in your head. 4. When she gives a missed call, just tell her by calling her up that she is a 'kanjoos' (miser) and that she is making you call all the time. 3. Contradict all she says, including calling her a nu...

The tortoise and the hare

Most of us have read (or rather, listened to) this one as the first in the series of morals that are programmed into us soon after we are born. I use the word 'programmed', because we just accept what we are fed at that time, and the number-crunching over those maxims happen much later. Well, it is the number-crunching or ruminating over that story that I was doing last night that leads to this post on my blog. Well, what will you prefer to be? The hare, or the tortoise? Before you shoot off the argument that because the tortoise wins in the end, I want to be him, we need to ponder over something else. What is your attitude towards life? Do you rest when the target is near? Or do you get more charged up and want to finish off all work before you rest? On my part I must say that I love to maintain a clean plate, and want to rest calm and peaceful at the end of the day. Thus, if I were the hare, I would have crossed the finish line and then rested under the tree. The moral of the...

Travails of getting suddenly fat!

Yeah, in case you've seen me, I don't look the 82-84 kilos the weighing machine always screams at me whenever I stand before it. And if you have, well, it is true. How I managed to gain 14 kilos in 8 months is a long story, but anyway if you think you are lean and thin and need to put on some weight, do get in touch with me. Trust me I am the best person around to tell you that. How did I manage to do that? Well, to cut a long story short, this is my 11th or 12th year straight out of home, and this food that I have now is the best I've had for some time. And thus, because my monthly budget has increased from 2000/- which mother used to send to me all these years to what my company pays to me (figures withheld, you know) now, I can literally buy and eat things whenever they catch my fancy! Earlier I used to think twice even before I had a cuppa tea, and now going to the local vada-pav wala has become almost routine. And add to that the fact that I don't booze, don't...