Tanmay confession: it is NOT due to Circumcision

If you have seen the play "Noises Off" by Naatak, then you would understand the rest of this post. I played the character of Tim (or Tanmay) in the play.

Tanmay's confession: as narrated to Ruku
(Ruku's comment: Tanmay is a sweetheart)

I would like to begin by apologizing to everyone who came to watch the play. The delay was NOT due to Circumcision. I repeat, it was NOT due to Circumcision. I was merely reading from the page that I was handed and Fareed was the one who gave me the wrong word (I'll kill you). I would also like to blame Poppy for writing complicated English words like "circumstances". Clearly her pregnancy has put her vocabulary engine into overdrive.
(Ruku's comment: Sorry? Did you just say that Poppy is having a baby?)

Speaking of pregnancies, Loy, you bastard! (Ruku's comment: Loy, you bastard!) Even though Draupadi had filed for her third divorce while she was in the middle of "Draupadi ke Kesh", Loy managed to dip his fingers into that pie as well. I am told that the tabloids in Mumbai cannot quite decide if casting a pregnant-with-twins Draupadi is a sign of progressive times or whether the rumors of a shortage of actresses in Bollywood is real.

Ruku, dear, I am glad to see that your contact lenses are working and you can hear me properly. I remember Loy moaning to me "वैसे ही मै बड़ा परेशान director हूँ... producer कहता है पैसे नहीं दूंगा, hero कहता है dates available नहीं है, और heroine कहती है के पुरे कपड़े पहनूंगी". Thankfully he found you after that - God bless you. However, since the two of you drove off to Lonavala during the weekend when Loy was supposed to be giving me instructions about the set, I don't take blame for the door handle that broke off during the last show.
(Ruku's comment: Serves you right, Loy, that you explained the concept of "Casting Couch" to me in Lonavala; and got your share of "Casting Ouch" one month into the show. God bless that cactus!)

(Ruku's additional comment: Loy, you bastard!)

Gaurav, it is only fair that Fareed and Dolly went up to Dolly's room for some tea. You don't have your temper under control and have been banging your head, jumping off stairs and... "you know!". A little cutting chai never hurt anybody. Dolly might be kind of fat old for you, but you need to draw a line somewhere. I know Brinda gave you a box of crayons - you should consider that and a course of Art of Living. At least I get to catch some sleep in those sessions when the teacher thinks I am meditating.

Finally, Sailesh! At this point of time I am even afraid to ask about his whereabouts. Last I heard, he had gone in search of a 3-play-pass to Naatak's 2016 shows: Mr. India and the Carte Blanche. You should also get them (Ruku's comment: Who, me?). Yes, you too - since you are reading this and know what I mean. You never know - Sailesh might be sitting sleeping next to you and you'll get to laugh some more.


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