Why I don't want to give you my Whatsapp number

Dear cousins, colleagues, and ex-classmates who want to send me "forward"s - please don't ask for my Whatsapp number. We are already friends on Facebook - let's keep talking there. I will avoid giving you my number at all costs, even sometimes by breaking down lines of communication.

Let me explain why. You see, every morning when I wake up due to a "ding" notification from Facebook, and I open my messages to find this, I am not very pleased.

Thank you for wishing me a wonderful day. I hope you have one too. But poor grammar, generous number of periods and random capitalization of letters are not the way to make my morning any better. Things like this make me want to throw up!!

My heart bleeds and my brain farts every time I see things like this. You need relations? Try Tindr, Shaadi.com or some such thing! Puhleeaz don't bug me for relationships - I have my share already!

And congratulations, by the way, on discovering the concept of memes. Oh you don't know what memes are? Well, when you put text or words on images and together they make memes. I know, I know - the wonders of the internet, right?

I keep Whatsapp for more realtime conversations. I am pretty sure, if you get hold of that number, you will start sending "forwards". Juvenile jokes, fancy pictures of celebrities next to things they never said make you appear even more dimwitted than you already are. Please spare yourself the embarrassment of being told "no" straight in your face, and don't ask for my Whatsapp number.