Monday, September 28, 2009
Season's greetings
Hi to all my regular readers and the chance visitors. Wish you all a very happy Durga Dasami, Dusshera and Eid Mubarak. I am in India these days and well, quite honestly not in a mood to post much. Will write after I get back. Enjoy! :)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Expat
The first time I had ever stepped out of India was when I was visiting Scotland, about 3-4 years ago. During a break within that time, I visited my grandparents' place: something I always look forward to whenever I go home. One or two days into my visit there, I was going about my business as usual: getting pampered, eating tons of great food, hanging around my grandparents and sharing their stories of the day, etc. After one of those dull moments of conversation when everyone ponders to think what to say next, my grandma suddenly remarked to grandpa, "He hasn't changed one bit, right?"; and my grandpa smiled and looked at me and said, "No, he hasn't".
Up until that time, the idea that I might "change" because I was living in the UK or the US hadn't even occurred to me. And frankly, I thought, what change could one undergo within six months of leaving the country? Or does one form a bias after he/she has left the shores? About a year after I had quit my job, I was chatting with a friend in Mumbai. I had casually joked with him about the crowd on the local trains. He however became very defensive, telling me that a lot has changed since I left Mumbai and that I should see things for myself first and then make prejudiced guesses that are set in the time when I had last seen the place. Believe me, I was very very surprised.
Over time, however, as I have analyzed this, I think I know why and how. And unfortunately I too have contributed to this system of belief at some time, in my own ways. At the core of it is the fear that we'll lose someone close to us: either to the pleasures or sins of the unknown Western world. Because there have been countless other examples where someone near and dear became this spoilt American kid who can't drink water without it being from a bottle of Bisleri. A basic level of distrust sets in: more so since a lot of such 'phoren'-returns begin to comment derogatorily about things which they grew up around. Perhaps it is the new-found freedom of expression and free speech that makes the criticism from them take a certain barb. Or perhaps it is just the slight accent that creeps in over time into the way they speak, the sudden accumulation of phrases and expressions in their speech that are 'outlandish', or maybe simply the way they dress that make them stand out in a crowd.
Thankfully, we as a society are becoming more open to things, and the media with all its shortcomings is beginning to show us the world around through live broadcast. So a lot of the US knows that we are not a third-world country by any means, and a lot of India is getting to learn that the US is also not the pinnacle of human achievement either. And I think the whole purpose of globalization is finally to share information and show the reality by example rather than hearsay. There are a lot of myths that I often need to address: like are there beggars in the US? Or do the cars run by themselves or do people actually need to drive them? And it is the same the other way around as well. I was asked in the UK (by a lady who was getting drunk, I admit), if we had roads in India, if people traveled on elephants, etc. It is the media and global collaboration that must debunk any such notions and help us have proof of all we believe in.
As far as me changing as a person is concerned: yes I believe my thought process is evolving constantly, and yes the circumstances do dictate a lot of it. I think I switch accents whenever I begin talking to an American guy rather than an Indian guy, albeit unconsciously. People used to look at me differently even when I was home from my school at the Ramakrishna Mission: like I should be a model boy for everyone else around me. But at the core I think the seed has been whatever values I've learned at home, by observing my parents and grandparents at close quarters. The blossom of the tree might take a lot of different shapes and colors, but the basic instincts of right and wrong and moral judgement are tough to change. I know I would feel at home wherever I am loved and wherever I can connect, be it my hometown or be it my place of work in the US: I would never be an expat.
Up until that time, the idea that I might "change" because I was living in the UK or the US hadn't even occurred to me. And frankly, I thought, what change could one undergo within six months of leaving the country? Or does one form a bias after he/she has left the shores? About a year after I had quit my job, I was chatting with a friend in Mumbai. I had casually joked with him about the crowd on the local trains. He however became very defensive, telling me that a lot has changed since I left Mumbai and that I should see things for myself first and then make prejudiced guesses that are set in the time when I had last seen the place. Believe me, I was very very surprised.
Over time, however, as I have analyzed this, I think I know why and how. And unfortunately I too have contributed to this system of belief at some time, in my own ways. At the core of it is the fear that we'll lose someone close to us: either to the pleasures or sins of the unknown Western world. Because there have been countless other examples where someone near and dear became this spoilt American kid who can't drink water without it being from a bottle of Bisleri. A basic level of distrust sets in: more so since a lot of such 'phoren'-returns begin to comment derogatorily about things which they grew up around. Perhaps it is the new-found freedom of expression and free speech that makes the criticism from them take a certain barb. Or perhaps it is just the slight accent that creeps in over time into the way they speak, the sudden accumulation of phrases and expressions in their speech that are 'outlandish', or maybe simply the way they dress that make them stand out in a crowd.
Thankfully, we as a society are becoming more open to things, and the media with all its shortcomings is beginning to show us the world around through live broadcast. So a lot of the US knows that we are not a third-world country by any means, and a lot of India is getting to learn that the US is also not the pinnacle of human achievement either. And I think the whole purpose of globalization is finally to share information and show the reality by example rather than hearsay. There are a lot of myths that I often need to address: like are there beggars in the US? Or do the cars run by themselves or do people actually need to drive them? And it is the same the other way around as well. I was asked in the UK (by a lady who was getting drunk, I admit), if we had roads in India, if people traveled on elephants, etc. It is the media and global collaboration that must debunk any such notions and help us have proof of all we believe in.
As far as me changing as a person is concerned: yes I believe my thought process is evolving constantly, and yes the circumstances do dictate a lot of it. I think I switch accents whenever I begin talking to an American guy rather than an Indian guy, albeit unconsciously. People used to look at me differently even when I was home from my school at the Ramakrishna Mission: like I should be a model boy for everyone else around me. But at the core I think the seed has been whatever values I've learned at home, by observing my parents and grandparents at close quarters. The blossom of the tree might take a lot of different shapes and colors, but the basic instincts of right and wrong and moral judgement are tough to change. I know I would feel at home wherever I am loved and wherever I can connect, be it my hometown or be it my place of work in the US: I would never be an expat.
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