A day in the life of a new Indian housewife in the US

Thank you everybody for all those comments on the last post - yeah it made me feel a lot better :). Actually, I was curious about who are the 181 readers who show up on FeedBurner but I don't get to see them ever on comments, etc. But now I know - cheers! :)

About this post - the editor of a magazine from Bangalore had asked me to write a chatty gossip column (you know he found the right person, didn't you? :P). However, it has been three weeks since I have sent the article and he hasn't replied to my emails or my phone call. So I'm publishing this article here. If he contacts me, I'll write another article for the magazine again. Enjoy :)

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7:00 am – I woke up. No new Orkut scraps – life is boring. Nope, my cute hubby is still asleep. His drooling mouth looks so cute. Nudged him – leaving bed now.


8:00 am - Hubby still in bed. This has become a daily routine. You try to wake him up, kiss him, and he wants to drag you into bed. Then a little reminder, “You should join the gym, you know” quickly gets him out of bed. Works like a charm, every single time.


9:00 am - No new Orkut scraps. You know, something seems not quite right. When I reminded him of our evening Walmart trip, he started munching through the breakfast toast so much faster. Why does he complain that I am always nagging: I just reminded him that the gym might be good for him. He sort of left in a hurry.


10:00 am – Finally, I see a friend online. Ooh this is great! Oh seriously? No way... Shweta's ex sent her an email? Are they getting back together? No? She's so stupid! Oh he's going for an arranged marriage? Does that other girl know? Don't you just HATE it when Orkut says you are typing messages too fast?


11:00 am – Mom is online – time for the daily update! I can also start cooking in parallel. Mom says new neighbor's distant nephew has a girlfriend. Cooking can wait – oh totally! Wow... this girlfriend turns out to be my ex-classmate's school friend. Time to tell mom about the rumour that the classmate ran off with Rahul once. Umm... I might have started it after seeing her once with the guy; but whatever.


12:00 noon – Discussing with mom – oh you have so many maids at home: I know... we have to load the dishwasher ourselves! So what if one maid didn't come today? Well yeah I know... you can never trust them. Did you see the latest pictures? Yeah I know the hubby is getting fat. Oh yes I know... must ask him to go to the gym. Well, he never listens to a word I say: tells me I am always nagging him. Want to see? Wait, here... let me call him. Oh My God... why does he not pick up the call at the first ring?! There must be something at the office – sometimes I just don't understand him! “Hey honey... so just calling to remind you that we're going to Walmart today: jaldi aana!”. “Yes dear... I know you are always there when I need you”. “Oh by the way did you take a look at that gym membership coupons I showed you?” “Hello? Hello?...”

1:00 pm – Opened Youtube: must watch Indian Idol and finish lunch. Mmm... these pakodas are good: I'm impressed with myself! They eliminated the cute guy! Bad. Stupid, stupid voters! Damn you … can't you get rid of that girl with the ridiculous make-up? I don't remember when I stopped eating lunch. And the phone is ringing...tring-tring-tring the mother-in-law. Hmmf... must she call right now? Damn that woman never sleeps on time. “Hi Maa... good to listen to your voice again! Yeah it has been so long...I missed talking to you... how are you? Oh yeah we're fine... sure, will ask him to call... tata!”.

2:00 pm - Open latest episode of "Chhoti Bahu - Sindoor bin Suhagan". Watch part 1, 2. Part 3 missing from youtube. Watch part 4 - okay I know what happened. Don't see anything on bhejafry.net. Ooh new movie on bharatmovies.com – will see later. Hmm... dailymotion.com has the full episode of “Ye Rishta Kya Kehlata hai”. Awesome!


3:00 pm - Hubby called. He will be here in an hour. My cute hubby. Meet other housewives in apartment complex for tea. Ooh yeah that Punjaban calls herself Jasmine now from Jaswinder – the phoneys I tell you. Ooh she can't even say patio any more – it must be pay-sheo! Haan... haan... she got that slur in her accent already. God... why does someone not bring the topic of Mumbai up.... I can tell the scoop about Shweta then! Please please please... oh nice the new girl did! Hmmf... this new girl has no dress sense: still wearing anklets with those jeans. They're cute, though. She called me "Didi"... am I that old?! No, the anklets are gaudy: nowhere cute. Hmm... that Priya is dropping hints about what her hubby did last night. Chhee... let me just talk to this other girl. Ooh is that what I think I heard? That sounds kinky! Never thought Rajesh would do that! Shhhh shhhh... oh I'm sorry what were we saying?


4:00 pm – My sweetheart is here. Ooh those pakoras leftover from lunch! He will have them... made them the first time here myself! “But this isn't the way my mom makes these!” - he said! Damn you... jaao apne mummy ke pass! Slammed door. And now the hubby is outside trying to make me feel better. Hmmf... why did I go for this arranged marriage. There is a secret girlfriend you have in your office don't you? Go to her – she will feed you all the samosas and pakodas.*Insert 30 mins of groveling and compliments from hubby here*. Oh really... you think my hair looks cute today? What else is cute? Aww okay I can go with you to Walmart.


5:00 pm – We picked up a friend of his on our way to Walmart to give him a ride. He's recently got a job and he's single? JACKPOT! So you have a girlfriend in India? Oooh... so, whats her name? Where does she live? What does she do? How long have you known her? Do her parents know? When are you going to tell them? Hubby is trying to make me stop asking these questions. Please please please tell me at least the first letter of her name? Ooh she's in Bangalore? At least tell me the first letter of the name? 'S'.. okay who do I know in Bangalore with 'S'? Ooh and what else? Who proposed first? Damn we're here at Walmart! Very nice to meet you. Please visit us some time – would love it if you come to our place!


6:00 pm - In Walmart. Friend has disappeared. With hubby in curtain aisle. Hubby says blue. I say white. My cute hubby. I say blue. Hubby says white. I say white...


7:00 pm - That blonde guy let me pass... aww I just dig that British accent! Why is this Indian guy being nice to us? Yeah yeah fine nice to meet you. He is pretty intent upon striking up a conversation with the hubby. Is he up to something? Something is wrong. I'm pretty sure he's either Amway or gay or both. Hah... Amway guy! Seriously... get a life!


8:00 pm - Hubby says blue. I say white. Hubby says.. I say blue. Hubby tries to say... I say blue. Hubby... I say blue. My cute hubby... looks tired. Sees reason. Buying blue curtains finally.


9:00 pm - Cooking dinner. Hubby has his laptop open. I take a break and go up to hubby and wrap him from behind around his shoulders. Ooh yeah Rajesh did some pretty awesome things to Priya last night – can't tell the hubby. But just blushing thinking about it – that is so naughty! Hubby has a confused look on his face; although he's trying to prod for information. My cute hubby.


10:00 pm – Hubby praised the food now... heheh... he better. “Did you take a look at the vouchers I sent you for the gym?”. Now what? I'm nagging?! But its for your own good! Okay I will not tell you anything about anything again – do what you want. No no... never listen to me. Do what you want... who am I to say anything? *Insert 30 mins of groveling and cooling off from hubby here*. Hmmf... I know what he wants. Okay okay... so you are going to look at the gym vouchers tomorrow, right?

11:00 pm - Hubby in bed. My cute hubby. Lights out. *Ahem* ...

Comments

  1. It is a brilliant write up. I wish the editor had contacted you. At the same time, I am glad he didnt. That way, we got to consume it.
    You sound like those famous immigrant writers. Write more of such stuff.

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  2. Do you have a secret we dont know? Sir, are you married or not? Please, let the cat out of bag. This couldn't have been achieved by a person who claims to be "Single" ahem ahem!

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  3. Agree with both the above comments..

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  4. So you're depicting how boudi's lifestyle will be if she marries you :P

    Yeh sab likhoge tho tumhe ladki nahi milegi !

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  5. Mampi, well I had asked for his permission to republish it on my blog later on as well. But thanks for the compliments anyway! :)

    Supremus, Ahh the joys of having a "fertile" imagination.

    Shrinidhi, hehehe - some people learn just by watching others.

    Manasa, aare boudi ki chamchi! We shall make different arrangements then. :P

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  6. ha ha ha...brilliant...! Looks like u have done pretty good researching on desi housewives lives :D...whats the source of the info though???? :)

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  7. Too good :)
    Really enjoyed going thru this post:-D
    And "Chhoti Bahu - Sindoor bin Suhagan"-- this was hilarious!! :-D
    Good going.. keep writing!

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  8. Absolutely hilarious!!
    I loved d 4.00PM part.. particularly tis..
    "*Insert 30 mins of groveling and compliments from hubby here*. Oh really... you think my hair looks cute today? What else is cute?"

    heheh :D very true :) :)

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  9. Sandhya, one observes some, one imagines some, and one pokes and finds out about the rest.

    Munmun, hehhe - thanks! Welcome onboard, btw!

    Janum, hehehe- looks like its familiar with someone :D

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  10. Experience speaketh eh? ;)

    Hubby says blue. I say white. My cute hubby. I say blue. Hubby says white. I say white...

    LOL

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  11. Ships, hehehe - one learns through the experience of others as well!

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  12. even an Indian wife in India has d same life except d no of maids(which usually is d max dat she can afford frm her husbnd's salary)

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  13. Shagufta, welcome aboard! Hehe... I am willing to agree :)

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  14. very nice.. I am reading it second time

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  15. brilliant ....very detailed..I have enjoyed this phase from 2008 to 2010.

    I am Bengali and truly liked it....

    Cheers
    Sharmistha

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sharmistha! :)

      So, what happened in 2010? :D

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  16. Word by word the life I lived in the US when in a dependent visa...my life is a little different now that I have a kid..but really a nice one!

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    Replies
    1. Hmm... maybe I should publish a similar one with a kid :P

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  17. Its's so true...for those who came to US and newly married and especially for those who stays at home.
    I enjoyed each and every line. Kudos to you!!

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  18. what happened after the lights went out??

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  19. Thanks for sharing such a nice information . Lots of people will get benefited from your site. :) you can also visit.
    Gre Preparation In Lahore

    ReplyDelete

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