Losers, Inc

Update: this is the link that triggered the following tirade: http://www.telegraphindia.com/1070910/asp/bengal/story_8298531.asp

We proudly celebrated our Teachers' Day on September 5th. Speeches were held; some fat-ass minister came and inaugrated the occasion by lighting a lamp or two. I'm pretty sure, wherever you were, you had elaborate ceremonies. You showed off your lifelong gratitude to your 'teacher'-s by presenting them bouquets and feeding them a few samosas and Pepsi. Our honourable President, Ms Pratibha Patil, also presented the National Teachers' Award to a select few teachers. Oh, lest I forget, it was "for their lifelong contributions to the nation". Only, in her case, instead of cold samosas and Pepsi, she handed over a few certificates and there was a ceremony for an hour or so. The rest, as they say, is history.

The grand message of the ceremony was, "You lousy teachers... you have been teaching all your life but you still haven't learned your own lesson! Lets see if we can drive the point home". While the ceremony was on, everything had been picture-perfect. Meeting the Prime Minister was a very pleasant occasion. The President of the nation came off the stage to greet a physically handicapped Sidhnath Verma. Ahh the picture-perfect kodak moment... imagine the example set before a million cameras! But off the record, between you and me, we've been milking these poor old cows --- who cares about them anyway? When you need to load them into buses, herd them together: "Jaldi karo warna hotel khud aana", and the cattle will hurry into the buses braying and bleeting. Poor old suckers --- they will find a way to come and get their certificate. "Give me enough medals and I can win you any war", Napolean had said. The fine print on the official agenda was, "Give me enough certificates and I will get you enough sheep, err ... I meant teachers". Isn't it enough that we arranged for their accomodation? Who bothers taking care of them for the rest of the time anyway? "100 dial karke complain kar le. Dekhta hoon kya ukhad lega...". Roughly translated, what the greatest democracy in the world meant to say to these poor old sods was, "So long, suckers... now stay happy with that certificate!!".

You keep reading everywhere about people deciding about their return to India after their stint in the US, and whether it relates to their gender. A more fundamental question is, does India really want you back? Even after 37 years of service, the system doesn't really want to honour you, it is all a show-off. You have been a loser to have chosen that career for yourself while you were young. These ceremonies are just a reminder about the terrible mistake you did when you were all charged up and wanted to serve the nation and blah blah blah yada yada yada. Sigh, the childish emotions of the youth --- they want to change the country! Haha, you flunkeys and turkeys and also-rans... you actually thought that they had realized the "noble" work you had been doing? You bummers, What they had realized in reality was that the time was ripe to rub salt into the wound! You actually inspired a few more losers like yourself and made a few fresh additions to the sheep-barn, didn't you? Hahaha... well, we all thank you on behalf of a billion people: we've had good entertainment for the hour which was the crowning moment of your careers. We'll find another fresh batch next year. Till then, keep working and teaching, losers!