Unchivalrous doors

Up until about 6 months ago, I never bothered to hold open doors for ladies or push chairs for them, etc. There were two reasons for this: first of all, I thought it kind-a lame to do that. I mean, if on one hand I say that they are my equals and yet every time I am sitting and a lady is standing, I am supposed to offer her my seat, I see contradiction. I did offer my seat, however, to people who I thought needed it: be it old people or ladies with new-born babies, etc. Also, once in a while, a colleague (friend) would take the bus dead exhausted after her day, and I'd offer her a seat. Usually, after a little persuasion, it felt good to see the relief on their faces when they finally took the seat: after all I thought I could take the stress of standing better. So while I'd hold open doors for anyone who had their hands full (be it a boy or a girl), I used to care very little about doing the same when the other person was not so occupied. The second reason was that I did not really care about what people thought. Or rather, as I should say, what the girls thought. Everyone was a friend, and I treated them equally no matter what. So I didn't give a damn, really.

But then things changed... and I decided to give 'chivalry' a chance. Things came down to such a level that colleagues, 'girl' friends etc began to wonder what was happening. They'd ask, "Oh, thank you, Sudipta... but whats wrong with you? Tumko ho kya gaya hai?" while I'll jump to the doors and hold them open for them. At the same time, I used to get a glance of appreciation from them, a silent smile, and so things appeared to be worth the effort for some time. So while they still remained friends/ colleagues, that little moment of holding a door open would add another smile to the day. Life was good! :)

After some time, I toned this "pro-active chivalry" down to active chivalry. I did not jump at the doors, but took the opportunity if it presented itself. So if a girl and I were walking side-by-side down a corridor and we approach a door, I'd usually take a long step forward, grab the door and pull it in, and then indicate to her to move on with a 'charming' smile :). She'd usually look at my face, smile and say "Thank you" and go on, and I'd say "Sure". Ahh.. life is still good! :)

And now enter the villain: automatic sliding doors! No matter how quickly I reach before the girl, that door 'always' knows that before me and opens up! Also, I cannot proclaim that I used 'the force' to pry the doors open, although a "Khul jaa sim sim" PJ usually works! And then, due to fire exit designs, most doors open outwards. Now, that creates a problem: even if I came with the gal from within the room, I must push the door with one hand and yet leave space to let her pass through it. Lets just say that it doesn't leave a very 'healthy' distance between me and the girl ;) So, despite my best efforts at being chivalrous, there is an organised conspiracy going on amongst all the doors to prove that I am none of that! Damn these unchivalrous doors!


  1. Haha.. good one. Chivalry has to be doled out in the right quantities. Too less and you'll be known as the insenstive guy and too much of it, and they'll assume you are desperate to please ;)

    btw, this is my first visit to your blog..you write well :)

  2. wow!! I neva knew u too visit my page! 'Ve always been looking up to ur posts! Tht ws very humbling!!!

  3. Tch! Tch! Yet another invention ruins the fun of life. I hate sliding doors - not just for chivalry reasons hehe, but the fact that I dont control it, makes me sick and demented!

    On similar thoughts, previously ppl actually talked to each other in the gym - now, they just clip their Ipods and are lost in their own worlds. Technology is seriously ruining us man!

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Ha! Ha! The poor guys who invented the automatic doors would have never imagined the dent it would make to your chivalry. ;)

  6. Enigma, you are right: the right quantities are important :) And thanks for the compliments and dropping by: welcome onboard!

    Shayon, I'm honoured, sire! I do read your page once in a while.

    Supremus, yeah well I had nothing against technology until it started ruining my 'chivalrious' image :) About the iPods, well, I guess most people are too tired to keep talking after a 15 min run on the treadmill.

    Alpine Path, yeah well I'm sure they weren't aware of what they were doing! Poor people who were used to ruin the lives of their own kindred! ;)

  7. This comment not really related to the content. But just coz I felt obnoxious to read "unchivalrous" mis-spelt as "unchivalrious" (both in the title and content).. Just wanted to point out this mistake, because your english is not that bad after all ;)

  8. Anonymous, Ohh! Thanks a lot! I wasn't aware of the mistake. I've corrected it now :)

    P.S. - I think I never really knew what being truly "chivalrous" was :)

  9. Guess u r on an onlook for some girl..hmmmm..kiddin but dont worry, find other wayz to maintain this 'chivalry' apart 4m doors...come on..think n try....lage raho sudipta bhai !!!-Non MAC Anonymous

    P.S. Mention what u tried new in ur next post,ok ?

  10. “Now, that creates a problem: even if I came with the gal from within the room, I must push the door with one hand and yet leave space to let her pass through it. Lets just say that it doesn't leave a very 'healthy' distance between me and the girl ;)”

    don’t complain cuz the doors “conspiracy” is working in ur favor:-D

  11. Non-MAC Anonymous, tell me something: which guy isn't on the look out for some gal? :D I've tried loads of things, and sometimes I haven't tried at all. Just one post to mention them all? Naah... I'll need more than that to start on it.

    Mommyof2, yeah, well... that is good only till the point that the girl doesn't find ulterior motives in the act ;)

  12. Course every guy on this planet is on d look out for some girl...but I opted to stay mum on dat coz of d 'invasion of privacy' factor..many people these dayz whether celebrities or acquaintances hate intruders of their private lives...newayz buddy hope u get 'lucky' sometime soon.-Non-MAC Anonymous

  13. LOL!
    Loved the post! TOTALLY...
    Maybe you should walk out when a girl is about to walk in... ;-)

  14. Yeeaahh!! That's what I call soulful writing..
    And you couldn't have expressed my feelings better..as regards courtesy to women. Only, I haven't found it worth changing into Mr. Chivalrous yet... There was a Reader's Digest article that found Mumbai least courteous in this respect, in a survey conducted among many cities across the world... Show 'em hell!! ;).. and yes, it's me, albeit I can't say I know how i got a blogger ID ;)

  15. LOL, that was a very clever one! :) BTW, just as a sidenote, I think chivalry is a very attractive feature in any man!

  16. Non-anonymous MAC, hmmm... no comments! :)

    Poornaa, glad you liked it :) Yeah thats a good idea, but then again that might qualify as pro-active chivalry.

    Arunava, he he, thanks! :) That survey was based on a lot of other things, not just 'chivalry' :) You can keep your blogger id for all you have: it is probably your google id.

    Life lover, hey! Change of nick!! Thanks, anyway! Yeah I know that the chivalry thingie increases attractiveness quotient somehow. Meet me and you'll find out ;)

  17. Hey sudipta, not related to this post, but I think you really need to customize your blog theme. It looks too default...

    I think personalizing it can make it stand apart.

  18. hey very funny...
    love the way you express it...

  19. Wow! Gals always feel honoured after reading such posts. :-)

  20. Hari, yeah thanks... I have been planning to migrate to wordpress for some time, only I am not sure where to get the free hosting space. I had customised this template just a little bit to make the width of the text more. Thanks for the suggestion, anyway.

    Shruti, :) thanks!
    P.S. - Welcome onboard!

    Alka, really? I am glad :)

  21. If you want free wordpress hosting, you can get it at


  22. haha..gud one..
    btw first time here..nice blog too.

  23. Chivalry died the day Womens Lib was born...

  24. Hari, yeah but I don't think I saw free hosting there. I'll explore once I have time, anyway... thanks!

    Gangadhar, hey, thanks mate! And welcome... will check your place soon.

    Goan Pao, ohh... long time no see. But I hope the comment was made in jest, because I disagree with that.

  25. Aha, nice post! Laughed till end :-)

    Well, I really identify myself with your first paragraph.

    Till date, I havent given up on the charms of 'chivalry' :-)

  26. Wordpress.com is similar to blogspot.

    You can sign up here:

    WordPress.org is the free blog software which you can download and use if you have your own server, while Wordpress.com uses WordPress MU to host free blogs similar to blogspot.

  27. Manish, :) really? Thanks! And yes, the charms are really there!

    Hari, thanks a lot, man! Let me get over with my midterms, and then I'll think about the migration.

  28. Hey Sudipta, I have reading ur blog since long but this is the first time I am putting some comment. I enjoyed reading this posting ... good job done ...

    In fact ur posting abt that Guiter vala "Lost in Chords" was very well written :)

  29. Geetanjali, Aare madam aap kab se padhne lag gayi mera blog? :O

    Thanks a lot, anyway... do keep commenting! :)


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