Morning coffee and butter milk

One of the strange things that one needs to do in life, I find, is that he or she needs to learn to cook. There is no escape, if you haven't learnt it yet, you will have to: some time or the other. In my case, all these years in hostels I have never learnt or needed to learn to cook. Someone, somehow, was always there to cook food. And I was absolutely efficient in dishwashing! I really mean it --- friends would cook using all the utensils they could find, take all the time they need, while I would lounge about in the sofa in the living room, flipping TV channels. And after a hearty meal, it would take me 15-20 min to get the whole place sparkling clean! Things were so good for me and for everyone else then :)

But then I came to America, and found the quintessential invention that will take away my job: the dishwasher! So I woke up the next morning, and found my room-mate in the kitchen area, sipping on a glass of coffee. Jetlagged morning time needed coffee here as well, and I thought I might as well start off by asking how to, or rather where is the coffee powder.
"Dude, there isn't coffee powder in here... you get that coffee bag"
Uh-oh, so I found out that there was a coffee-bag like the fancy Taj Mahal teabags we have in home, that needed to be put into a glass full of tap water. Wait, aren't we supposed to boil the water and then put the coffee in? Naah, you put that glass, along with the coffee bag and the water, right into the microwave, and heat it for 2 minutes!

Yes, it was a cultural shock to me. But the best was still in store. The two minutes started to roll, and AD decided to get back to his bed or somewhere to attend his chores. I dutifully got the coffee out after 2 minutes, and then there was the next big question: where's the milk? AD said, "Its in the fridge", and so I went towards and opened the fridge. I swear, there were at least 6 different types of milk in there: Vitamin D milk, fat reduced milk, whole milk, butter milk and so many types of crap I just couldn't take it in at one time. So I did what I like to do so much: grabbed the first one at hand and poured in a healthy amount into the coffee.

The coffee turned a bit white; it actually represented a scale of brown from the top to its bottom in the glass, together with little granules of white floating about here and there. I still drank it twice: it was not coffee, to say the least. So I decided to ask AD, "Hey, can you take a look at this?"
AD: "Dude, what did you add?"

I sheepishly walked over to the fridge and showed the carton of butter milk. He had a laugh, and after some time I joined in the laughter. So much for being the person who prides himself on his hostel experience! But I now know how not to make coffee. I also know why you should put the whistle on a pressure cooker when you put anything in it to boil. I also know how little water not to add while boiling daal so that you burn the pulses, how much turmeric and salt not to add to the daal to make it reek of the smell. But don't worry, I'll survive :)


  1. awesome bro!!!...
    austin eh..which dept?

    iam at raleigh abve you..but the situation is the same at our place too but right now we make do with good 'ol nescafe classic frm india...keep posting keep rocking

  2. hey - the chicken you made yesterday was really good!!

  3. Sriram, yeah found that you are in Raleigh from your blog... thanks for your compliments, though. It is Austin CS :)

    Arunabh, as they say, chicken feed for the soul! :) Thanks... but Ramesh told me how to do it anyway

  4. cool post...
    if you need some tips to cook tell me.. ;)

  5. hey.... did u think u cud use the butter from the buttermilk for ur toast? he he, so glad to see that there are people worse than me....

  6. Eh?

    Welcome sire.

    abhi tho bahut kuch dekhna hain dada hehe!


  7. i CANNOT believe you didnt check tosee what milk it was before you dumped it in!!!!! *speechless*

    you MUST tell us more of what scrapes you got into!!

  8. Dude,

    how stupid are you?!

  9. Maverick, sure! Can you please post some pointers? :D

    Sunshine, yeah, some people just like to see others worse off! But I thought that butter would add a little cream to the coffee!!! :)

    Supremus, haa dada... abhi to bahut kuchh baki hai. :( :)

    Grafxgurl, welcome to the world of men! :D Just joking... was kind-a stunned with so many choices, so to say. And yeah I'll tell you what else I cooked up :)

    Anonymous Dude, eh? Just one stupid: A STUPID! :) Think you can do better? Please, come to my home and make some coffee for me!

  10. My son is almost 3 1/2 but very much interested in cooking (mixing salad, peeling boiled eggs & stuff) but hubby thinks it very girly.. Actually he blames me for making him all girly but I think its very important to learn cooking for guys too atleast then you are not stuck eating all the crap and make something of your choice..

    Good Luck learning more cooking and Im sure it will make ur future wife very happy:-))

  11. The things you have to do when living away from home:) My best friend was the oven and frozen food! But bad idea really, never quite mastered cooking:D

  12. nice blog! will try to visit often...


  13. MommyOf2, Well, this is what I say: knowing how to sustain yourself is good, and that your sons should be able to. It does not make them girly, but it makes them more independent. But then, don't force it on them... after the basics, they can learn things when they need :)

    Ahh... my future wife... well, I will love to be the dishwasher again! :D

    Duhita, yeah... so glad you understand. Kaashhh... only if I was at home :)

    Bharath, hey! Welcome here! And thanks.. will be looking forward to seeing more of you here.

  14. This is fun! I don't know why I thought people who love to eat always know how to cook. Catching up on your last few posts and let me congratulate you for making it to the Univ of your choice. Stay well and keep posting.

  15. Ha ha Austin just got voted #1 party college in the country. I bet you will have a lot more adventures with the booze and drugs flowing freely on campus!

  16. Anumita, aahh... I wish I knew how to cook all I like to eat. Thanks for the compliments... :)

    Anonymous, who voted it? I am sure you must have been consulted for the nominations, given the experiences you have :)

  17. You can visit this site. You may find it of some help.
    Anthonys bachelor Cooking Blog
    But as always, an interesting read. :-)You have written so mnay posts. :-)

  18. seems erring in ur culinary skills has made u famous overnite...

  19. Alka, yeah, I'll see that out. Thanks for the compliments... new post coming up soon!

    Sunshine, muhahahah... jealous? :D

  20. Dude... dont let anyone know, but the secret is in olive oil. Use it for everything you cook. 2 reasons:

    1) Really healthy.
    2) Really expensive (in comparison) so your bound to be more carefull while you make stuff.

    Cheers and keep the blog rolling!!

    PS: Dont use Olive oil in Coffee. Mix some drinking choc instead.

  21. Sanjay, ohh!! And I just thought olive oil was the secret to a fantastic coffee!! ;)

  22. hi Sudipta,
    This incident reminded me how I prepared the coffee for the first time using a coffee maker:D

  23. Damn, how did i miss this one! More ammo to pull yr...ahem...leg..


  24. sky, Yeah, right... so I can't cook: why bother? :D

    BTW, trust me you don't want to 'pull' my legs right now. They are discolored enough (due to the clotting blood and all) to make it look, umm... less leg-like :)


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