Comments on Sudipta's Life: Positive dis-service

Manasa, :) glad that you are doing so.Neeraj, hey,...

2009-01-07T16:13:00.000-06:00

Manasa, :) glad that you are doing so.

Neeraj, hey, thanks a ton for going through all the archives! And yes, important point -- peer pressure can be a factor.

Helping those with the means is clearly a dis-serv...

2008-12-19T12:45:00.000-06:00

Helping those with the means is clearly a dis-service.
but Aniruddha bhaiya rightly mentions genuine help as in the deprived.
I guess its about knowing where selfishness ends and selflessness begins..it is actually very easy to identify but more often than not its peer pressure that inhibits us..well me at least.

I have done this several times. You can help a per...

2008-08-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

I have done this several times. You can help a person once or twice; not every time.

Now, I don't find it hard to say "NO".

Hawkeye, thank you. :)Riyas, I'm sorry -- I don't ...

2008-07-30T21:08:00.000-05:00

Hawkeye, thank you. :)

Riyas, I'm sorry -- I don't link to other blogs indiscriminately. Thanks for linking to mine though: I don't bother about what the page rank is.

Hi friend I’m very much interested in your blog. I...

2008-07-30T19:19:00.000-05:00

Hi friend

I’m very much interested in your blog. I would like to make a link exchange with you. I’ve already placed your link in my blog Desktop Tricks- http://desktoptricks.blogspot.com/. It has a page rank of 2.

Instead of placing reciprocating link, just add a link to my other blog “Digital Quest” url- http://digital-quest.blogspot.com/. So you will get a valuable back link from a blog of page rank of 2. Both of us would get a leap in our page rank.

Thanks in advance. Remember please link back to http://digital-quest.blogspot.com/.

fantastic post. i like the fact that the 'salfish...

2008-07-30T14:44:00.000-05:00

fantastic post. i like the fact that the 'salfish' part has fallen into place as you mentally sort out life.

Karan, cheers mate! :)Mampi, nahi madam: I wasn't ...

2008-07-30T06:15:00.000-05:00

Karan, cheers mate! :)

Mampi, nahi madam: I wasn't on a survey spree. If I've asked you something, it is because I value your opinion and you aren't just another reference point in a survey. :)

Gradwolf, yes, if not the biggest loser, then at least the bigger fool. Good, after all, is a relative concept.

Twilight fairy, million ages no see madam! Oh yes of course I know what you mean about going on educating sprees when your own bridges are shaky. But I'm glad you grew out of them :)

Arethusa, yeah, only in your case, like I told Karan above, it was my pleasure. :)

I mostly agree with the dis-service bit. It encour...

2008-07-29T06:28:00.000-05:00

I mostly agree with the dis-service bit. It encourages laziness, as you say. But I also have to say, that I've been benefited by your *dis-service* too :-)

Doing this is very much required! Saying NO, is so...

2008-07-29T04:11:00.000-05:00

Doing this is very much required! Saying NO, is so important, there are so many books written on the same topic. I also experienced the same while in college. A couple of friends of mine became rather dependent on me for studying. I would always avoid "combined study" after that esp if the concerned ppl were slow! However I learnt this only after I sufferred a low score coz almost all my time used to go in educating my friends rather than preparing for my own exams.

I am not too sure. It probably depends on the pers...

2008-07-27T08:52:00.000-05:00

I am not too sure. It probably depends on the person at the receiving end. Either he is cunning enough to take advantage of the person doing the service(or dis-service) or he considers himself to be inferior and forever depends on that person.

Looks like either way, the person doing dis-service is the bigger loser. It may only help if everyone remains "good" in the world and the person at the receiving end, more so.

Yes Sir.Just Kidding, Loved the ideas in it. You a...

2008-07-27T04:00:00.000-05:00

Yes Sir.

Just Kidding, Loved the ideas in it. You are right about the Virtues of Selfishness as Pinks has already mentioned. Sometimes one needs it. By the way, was it about this that you asked those questions many weeks ago about how I feel when someone takes me for granted? Were you on a survey spree?

I mean't to say thanks for your service of dis-ser...

2008-07-26T07:53:00.000-05:00

I mean't to say thanks for your service of dis-service. I hope you got it now!! Cheers

Richa, welcome onboard! Well, for me the hard part...

2008-07-26T02:54:00.000-05:00

Richa, welcome onboard! Well, for me the hard part is not to say no, but to choose who to say it to -- I can be very direct and if necessary, rude if the need be. And yes, I know what you mean about it being the fault of the tree that it is taller while the rest of the forest is short. You should definitely read Ayn Rand.

Karan, I am assuming you are one of the people who are joining UT in Fall '08. In your case, it isn't dis-service: in fact it isn't a service I expect anything out of. You need to be helped -- and I'm doing what I wish my seniors had done a long time ago. Whether you deserve your help or not, your actions in the future will determine. Cheers, mate... and welcome onboard!

hey, thanks for your dis-service! Can't say anythi...

2008-07-25T18:29:00.000-05:00

hey, thanks for your dis-service! Can't say anything more.

Agreed. Giving away everything to people who don't...

2008-07-25T16:14:00.000-05:00

Agreed. Giving away everything to people who don't deserve and take your effort for granted is stupidity. But as you said, its hard to say no.

Its worse, if you are a good student. People usually expect it to be your duty to help them and if you refuse, you are either too conscious about your grades (which is somehow supposed to be a bad thing) or you are too competitive. In either case you value your grades (a.k.a your hard work) more than your friends. I don't mind helping friends with some difficult concepts (I love to teach) but letting them copy from my homework is something I think is simply wrong in so many ways.

Nice post.

Pinku, yes, thank you for reminding me of Ayn Rand...

2008-07-25T13:21:00.000-05:00

Pinku, yes, thank you for reminding me of Ayn Rand: I had a big change in my own philosophy of life after reading her works and I want to read them again. And thank you for the long comment: they're always welcome :)

Aniruddha, yep, I agree. Thanks.

Galadriel, actually, no... many in this case began doing it as a child -- giving away alms to poor people from their own households.

Hari, I totally agree with the points you've said -- couldn't have put them better. However, about the spiritual merit or Punya, I don't know -- I'm skeptical.

Mystiquedew, :) Thanks.. but yeah that is what I am trying to get out of --- how far to help and when.

Varun, naah in your case or in case of the many others who I help, I think I go to the right length in doing this. I am glad I was of help. :)

:) I think you missed mentioning about Varun Jain ...

2008-07-25T05:26:00.000-05:00

:) I think you missed mentioning about Varun Jain , or may be hundred of other students, as well.
Really,I don't know what should I be commenting on this post as your help was really valuable for me, if not directly but indirectly it was :)
Nice post, Bhai

Oopsie...a added I after the help..typos

2008-07-25T02:47:00.000-05:00

Oopsie...a added I after the help..typos

I am total sucker for sob stories and end up helpi...

2008-07-25T02:45:00.000-05:00

I am total sucker for sob stories and end up helping them invariably...

Almost all times I help I only when it doesnt cause me discomfort..

lovely blog :)

Sudipta, I believe that giving something always ha...

2008-07-24T22:51:00.000-05:00

Sudipta, I believe that giving something always has its reward even if it's not immediately apparent. The giver will, in the long run, gain more than the receiver because I believe that we accumulate spiritual merit and maturity through the act of true charity and not because of pride or any other reason.

There is an old Tamil saying which goes that even if you throw rice into the river, measure it before you do.

Essentials for giving:

1. Value what you give. Don't give away indiscriminately.
2. Give without any expectations of returns whatsoever - not even gratitude. Returns might come in the most unexpected manner.
3. Give only when the receiver truly needs it, i.e. the timing of your charity is as important as the material passed on.
4. Education can never be bad.

well.. the so-called "saints" were at a stage wher...

2008-07-24T09:36:00.000-05:00

well.. the so-called "saints" were at a stage where it didn't matter to them what they gave up because they had achieved such a level of (for lack of a better word) indifference as to who used their hard work and efforts in their own progress.

Hey nice post dude...We all come across people in ...

2008-07-24T06:54:00.000-05:00

Hey nice post dude...

We all come across people in the form of friends and peers and we end up trying to help them making them dependent on us. To some extent this is fine if that person needs genuine help.

Regarding being selfish, I believe that's again necessary to certain point.

hmmm...first of all agree with the positive disser...

2008-07-24T04:48:00.000-05:00

hmmm...first of all agree with the positive disservice bit. People should first try to stand on their own two legs before asking assistance.

If your fellow student had been ill and therefore unable to attend classes it would have been justified to help otherwise not.
Agree with Swapan da there.

As for selfishness...read Ayn Rand she has a lot to say about it. She and the dictionary describe selfish as being concerned with your own concerns. That cant be wrong by any yardstick. infact i beleive if more people are selfish without resorting to illegal methods we as a society can grow by leaps and bounds. Be selfish and self reliant...its good...no need for guilt pangs.

sorry for such a long comment couldnt help.