Skip to main content

Bless those search engines

When I had published this list of bizarre search engine queries, I thought they were the weirdest ones you can come up with and land on my blog. But, as always, life never fails to disappoint. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting, another set of queries that led to this blog, grouped together for common answers:

Interracial fantasy stories; Desi fantasy ladki; Life porno ee: First of all, an ROTFL... okay now let me catch my breath. For the love of all blogdom, what exactly did you expect to find here? Inter-racial fantasy stories? My dear dude/dudette, all those hot blonde chicks you see in the movies don't even give a second glance here towards me, let alone the fact that they are surrounded by tons of Salman Khan replicas. So 'inter-racial' fantasy stories will remain just that --- fantasy! And if you were searching for desi ladki fantasies, you might find yourself suddenly a deeper shade of beet red than those actual beet ads if you happened to know anyone else's fantasies but your own. Hah, from these searches I feel as though I might have a career as a porn star as well... err, "creative" writing star for life, I meant! EEeeeeee :P

Couple nude bangla wife pictures; Dating married woman site in kolkata; Divorced men Indian: Whoooo hahahhaa.... my dear reader, I had just threatened to become a pimp in that post I've linked to: I haven't actually become one! See, on one hand someone was searching for divorced Indian men, and on the other hand someone else was looking to date married women in Kolkata! So don't you see the "nude bangla wife" connection ?? (Err, "divine" connection, that is). See, all you need to do is to find each other; and not necessarily through this blog. You know, in this age of Web 2.0, you can do that on any of those million fraanship sites mushrooming everywhere of which I receive 20 invites daily: any one of those will suffice. Do I really need to know the details?

Discovering that a trusted friend backstabs you: Yeah, buddy... Brutus borrowed the dagger from me personally when he went to stab Caesar. That spear is available on demand when you want to stab your best friend: but remember, only backstabs are allowed. If you try stabbing from the front, that dagger becomes a duck and goes "quack-quack"! Oh, by the way, if you've been the fool that got yourself stabbed, then your orbituary is already here. No need to discover anything any longer... your epitaph will bear testimonial to the fact that you did discover this blog before the final decision to end your life in protest against such atrocious writing.

The gropers handbook of tricks: Oh yes, thats right! I almost forgot: I have perfected the subtle art of groping and have published the handbook of tricks. Very briefly, you need to sneak up on the victim, preferably in full public view where everyone is maintaining a good deal of personal space. And then once you are in front of her, jump in and go about your task like there is no tomorrow. Which, if you think about it, is true --- I doubt if there will ever be a tomorrow for you if you do that! ;)

Desi guys; Desi romeo; My kind of guy poem; What is my kind of guy: See, you can always trust Mr. Google! You were searching for the perfect guy, the perfect desi romeo. And you wondered aloud, what would your kind of guy be like? Google devta answered your query, brought you to my blog (like Lord Shiv from Sholay with Veeru providing playback). Lady, look at the divine omens: open your eyes and look how the stars are conspiring and pointing to you, time and again, that you don't need to look any further. Thou knight in shining armour is here, o damsel; come with me and I shall take you onto the flight of a lifetime... *sigh*. There is no need to fear, underwear is here!!

Okay, now for the one-line answers to the 'lesser' queries:

Midnight driver guide: Yeah of course, given my driving skills, who else could be a better guide?

Disco thake in surat: Abe, kamse kam discotheque ko disco thake to mat bana!!

Black bharatnatyam pics: Tai, kath... theyyy, katt!

Brahmi girl pictures: Sorry, she's booked for tonight. :P

Nude roomie: Heheheh, my roomies were NOT pleased to know of this query! :D

Non veg sms: Okay, how about this: I've lost it! :P

Miti drink nude: Huh??

Swimming underwater fully clothed: Splash-splash, chhalaak-chapaat!!

Parna+Sushmit: May the two of you live long, my dears... my best wishes are always with you. Tell me this, though --- did you two happen to meet using any of the queries above? :D

Comments

  1. Hilarious... absolutely hilarious... the poor sods, all disappointed now :-p

    ReplyDelete
  2. "The gropers handbook of tricks" -- Absolute ROFL!!! Jesus christ - what are ppl searching for these days!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hhehehehe.

    My fave's still..black bharatnatyam and nude roomies ;p

    Add disco thake to the list.

    Sky ;p

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh why did i forget the gropers handbook!! Add that above Mr. Thake.

    Sky again

    ReplyDelete
  5. hhhmmmm on the whole ur blog seems to be more porn friendly than search engine friendly :), my stats show me such funny queries too, think i shd also publish them sometime :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hari, yeah... but I'm sure the "my kind of guy" people aren't so disappointed! :D

    Supremus, yeah... I too spent a lot of time grinning when I read that.

    Sky, yeah, but you forgot my reply to the Non-veg SMS! As they say, it was a "touche"!!

    Maverick, would love to hear them!! BTW, porn friendly?? Lets just say it suits the right audience :P

    ReplyDelete
  7. :-) Can you tell me how these search engines work? :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. hehehe..from where you get ideas to research on..:).

    ReplyDelete
  9. dude.

    i think youre on the wrong planet.

    the worst keyword analysis i ever got was "INTERACIAL WEDDED BLISS"

    your blog must be circulating among some extremely controversial groups!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. ROTFL...poor u !!..pity u,really-Ms NMA

    ReplyDelete
  11. hahahahahahahaha

    and i thought i'd heard it all!

    ReplyDelete
  12. :--) How do you find out btw, as to what query brings people to your blogspot?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Alka, believe me I can --- that is my current area of research! :)

    Pallavi, exactly!

    Grafxgurl, controversial groups? Bring 'em on --- any publicity is good publicity. And about the inter-planetary business, yeah, I'm definitely out of this world! :D

    Miss NMA, why exactly am I the subject of your pity?

    Rajarshi, oh well, wait till you come to your college and you'll know better! :D

    SK, oh, take a look at the column on the left. You'll notice a list of the last 10 referrers. You can install that on your blog, too!

    ReplyDelete
  14. pity ?..i actually pity those gross search engines which lead such crazy ppl to ur blog !!..though ur blog is a place for high minded ppl like me :P-Ms NMA

    ReplyDelete
  15. EXPOSED!
    excuse me...i think it was me with the 'miti drink nude'...i actually meant 'might drink nude...tonight'..
    you kno...generally one of my hobbies...like my friend who likes to 'swim underwater fully clothed'..

    ReplyDelete
  16. i was laughing at this hilarious one too...
    but i think u ll post another set of queries, cuz this post will lead to other worse search queries..
    especially tat swimming thing with all your accompanied splashing on your post..!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hahahaha -- if you heard something thud against the floor, that's me hitting the floor from laughing so hard over here.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The best disco thake... ROTFL...

    Amazing... made my day...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Since you have published this post you'll get more such hits...

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sky, since you are mentioning Sky as your name, why don't you select the "Other" tab while writing comments and leave your name there? It may not be your actual name, just as Raman isn't mine, but since you're using it here, might as well call yourself so.. What's the use of calling yourself anonymous if you're leaving a name?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Miss NMA, oh yes of course! Where else would I find such an exalted audience? :D

    Allie, hahahah! So you were actuallydrunk when you searched for this gem? :D

    Bhuvanesh, welcome onboard! I know this is a vicious cycle. Will post the new ones only when there is something really better!

    Princess, yeah... I too had a similar reaction! :D

    Nishesh, welcome onboard! And come on... gropers' handbook??

    Shrinidhi, yeah I know that. But these queries will not find the right answers any longer.

    Raman, lets just say that not everyone is going to be a computer engineer! :D

    ReplyDelete
  22. oi...

    im back again:)
    need to ask u if u kno how to get rid of that 'previous ten post' thing...do i make sense?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Allie, I think I know what you mean --- please drop me an email and we can take it offline.

    Mommyof2, yeah, looks like I am. :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. 'nude roomie' -hehehehehe


    I am back!! :P

    Caught up on all ur previous posts..good work..keep writing!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maa khuh chihal a panjam hastam

The hit counter on my blog reached 20074 today. Why you may ask, is that news, and why hadn't I cheered myself up when it was at 20,000 for example? Well, it is news because 20074 has been a very special number for me during my entire college life: it was my admission number, and my system-wide unique identity. It is strange, and surprising, how these numbers become a part of our identity. The social security number, the passport number, the id number in the college, or even your roll number somehow becomes an almost innate part of the day-to-day life. As soon as I see the same number somewhere else: maybe on a telephone, on a hitcounter, maybe somewhere else... a thousand memories are triggered. As my eyes struck the hitcounter showing 20074 right now, I was thrown back to memories of filling up exam answer sheets, hostel admission forms, library recall requests, and so much more! I believe that number was present on almost every official form which I filled in college: even when

Swami Vivekananda and the Indian Renaissance

The following is an article I sent to my mother based on which she presented at one of her conferences. Do read. =======================================  The common perception of Swami Vivekananda as the religious leader who preached Hinduism to the West and established the Ramakrishna Mission in India is a very limited definition of the impact he had on the collective psyche of the common Indian. Besides his direct impact in adding steam to the Indian Renaissance, a large part of his thoughts and writings also affected the other stalwarts of the movement. While fathoming the entirety of his impact on the Indian Renaissance would be impossible, we will briefly explore some aspects of his influence in the following pages. Raja Ram Mohan Roy is generally credited with ushering in the revolution. His numerous ventures that contradicted the prevailing religious opinion of right and wrong broke the stranglehold of the prevalent quasi-religion, the norms of society and its sole autocrati

Tips and tricks for the GRE

Hello everybody, First of all, I thank all of you for the good wishes and congratulations that you have sent... either as mails, PMs, or anyhow. I have also been getting a lot of mails from people asking for tips and tricks and how I made it to the 800 in quants and 700 on the verbal. So if you are prepared for a lot of gyaan (which I love shelling out), here you go: 1. How long does it take to prepare? A: There is no definite time frame. But about 2-3 dedicated hours a day, for about two-and-a-half months is enough. Then, again, it is dependent on your level. To find that out, I'd suggest that you should take one paper-based test that is there in the front of the book (Barron's, Kaplan, anything... or even the Big Book). If you score about 750 on the quants, and about 500 on the verbal (no cheatings, etc) then the time frame I've said should be enough. If you scored more, great... you should try to get to around 1550!! But if less... well, spruce up depending on how